Contrition

After Alex dismantled the paper hat Katherine's friend had made her, I demanded that he apologize. No go. A few minutes later I found him sitting on the kitchen floor by the heater vent, and pulled him onto my lap.

"Do you like the sign you made in preschool?" I asked him. "The one you made with the beans spelling your name?"

"Yes," he said.

"How would you feel if someone pulled the beans off?" I asked.

"Sad."

"Do you think Katherine feels sad now? Because you broke her special hat?"

"I don't want to tell you."

"Wouldn't you feel sad if someone ruined your sign?"

"Yes."

"So how do you think Katherine feels?"

A long pause. "Sad."

"Yes, she feels sad. You need to go apologize."

I walked Alex back into the bedroom, where Katherine was still weeping over the scraps. "Katherine, Alex has something to tell you." I nudged him forward.

"Katherine," he said, "if someone pulled the beans off my sign I would feel sad."

Katherine gave this the answer it deserved. "Huh?"

I didn't realize apologies would be so hard to teach!

Other Things I Didn't Realize Would Be Hard To Teach Kids

--hanging clothes
--putting on tights
--washing hair
--brushing teeth

Utah in the springtime

 

Sidewalk?

Outside in the sunshine, Becca grabs piece of blue chalk and starts coloring the seat of her toy car.

"Color on the sidewalk," I tell her.

She stares at me, perturbed. "Paper?" she asks.

"On the sidewalk," I say. "Look down."

She tries drawing on the grass.

"The sidewalk," I repeat. "By your feet."

Happy to obey, she starts marking the toes of her shoes.

Alex runs to the rescue. Grabbing the chalk, he bends down to scribble. "Here's the sidewalk!"

Sidewalk located, Becca draws.

What Is It?

Alex is asking me what it is we used to eat on picnics. I have no idea. He tries to help me out by explaining that:
--it has lots of colors and lots of fruit
--it has a little bit of chocolate in it to make it brown
--it's not the color of wheat
--it doesn't have spots; that is, it has teenier spots than tortillas
--you tear it off of a bigger piece
--you put it in the blue teddy bear
--it is softer than bread
--it is darker brown than bread
--it doesn't have a crust
--it doesn't have nuts
--we made it


"Wait," I say. "Tell me about the blue teddy bear. Is it a stuffed animal, or are you talking about a cake pan?"

"It's a pie tin, but it bends," he says. "You used to make it, Mommy. You used to make it."

Mystery solved! The answer? Banana bread.

What My Baby Girl Learned From her Big Brother

(Brandishing a stick twice as long as she is)

"Chyu, chyu, chyu. I shoot you!"

Date Night

This is what married parents do after hiring a babysitter without actually planning a date:

• end up at the mall (the mall?!?)
  
• compare the various styles of size 7 jeans for their daughter who isn't actually there (and who ends up not fitting either pair)
  
• split up to buy socks for all family members
  
• try on watches they don't intend to buy
  
• look for the watch they do intend to buy, but it's sold out
  
• buy some truffles on the way out so at least there's dessert
  

It may not sound exciting, but at least it's together time. And hey, you still end up having to pay the babysitter.

Cookie, Please?

B: "Cookie!"
Me: "Say, 'cookie, please.'"
B: "Cookie!"
Me: "Cookie, please."
B: "Cookie!"
Me: "Say please."
B: "Cookie!"
Lar: "Cookie, please."
B: "Cookie!"
A: "It's not a cookie, it's a brownie."
Me: "I don't care if she learns the word brownie, I want her to learn the word 'please.'"
Lar: "Say, 'cookie, please.'"
B: "Brownie!"

Cookie, Please II

Lar: "Say 'cookie, please.'"
B: "No!"
Lar: "Cookie, please."
B: "No!"
Lar: "Say please."
B: "No!"

Cookie, Please III

Yes, she finally got the cookie.
B: "Pease!"

Nighttime

Alex (praying): "Thank you that I can sleep next to the wall."
Me (after prayer): "Why do you like to sleep next to the wall?"
Alex: "Because Katherine sleeps next to the wall." (on the top bunk)
Me: "So why is that good?"
Alex: "Because I can pass the glowy balls up to her."

So that's what they do when the lights go out!

"Saver" CFC Bulbs?

I've gone through way more of these supposed money-savers than ordinary bulbs--desipte their advertised 5-year lifespan, they burn out fast in our house. Now another one in my bedroom is flickering. So these are saving me money and energy how?

A Late Night Phone Call OR More Proof that VANOC Hates Visitors

It was 11:08 pm last Friday when we received a phone call from my parents. "There's been an earthquake in Chile, and the tsunami watch on the coast means we can't go clamming. So how do you buy tickets for the Olympics?"

I looked up tickets on CoSport (the official website through which Americans could buy new tickets) and the Vancouver2010 official fan-to-fan resale site. Tickets for the skating gala at Vancouver2010 were nearly half the price of the CoSport tickets, so I recommended those. But there was a catch: visitors were no longer allowed to create new accounts.

Excuse me? I'd been telling my parents for two weeks that they should go to the Olympics, and now VANOC refused to sell them tickets? Did they not want visitors? Did they think the Olympics were already over?

Not to be foiled by VANOC's evil machinations, I went online to buy my parents' tickets on the account which I, luckily, already had. But there was another twist: photo ID required. Whose photo ID? The credit card holder's? Or the account holder's? It took nearly twenty minutes of digging to find the photo ID fine print, but it wasn't enough. No further information was given.

So, to make sure that my parents could pick up their tickets without a problem, we did the only obvious thing.