Email

My husband gets about 1000 emails a day, but I'm the one who's always checking my email. I never know when I might get something exciting--news from a friend, answers from my editor, candy experiment questions, or someone wanting to put candy experiments on TV! (Hey, it happened once.) So when kids are whining, or I'm dragging around doing chores, or I'm trying to sort through the mail, I check my email, and waste another 30 seconds of my day.

Good thing I never actually get any email. Because that would really slow me down.

Ominous words

"Mommy, I promise I won't draw on the wall any more!"

The Great Pumpkin

We spent a few days this week camping on the lawn, in the rain, in our new tent, which the kids have been calling the great pumpkin.

Extreme Uncouponing

There was an article in Time about extreme couponing, with a demo by a mom who bought $200 worth of groceries for $38 (with 2 hours of shopping and 2 arguments with management). I must be the opposite--I just found a $2 off coupon in my back pocket that I could have used today at Fred Meyer if I'd remembered I had it. Of course it expired today.

A Laugh a Day

I just heard a snippet on the radio about how great laughter is for your health. So, is all the stress and labor of raising, teaching, nagging, disciplining, scrubbing, and chauffeuring children mitigated by the beneficial effects of having your own in-house comedy show?

Parental Dilemmas

Today I scolded my kids for quizzing each other on multiplication because one was supposed to be practicing and one was supposed to be spelling. How messed up is that?

The Fate of the Special Treat

After slipping a chocolate bar into my kids' lunch for a fun surprise, I was excited to hear the lunchtime report. Here's what Alex had to say about it.

Alex: "I didn't get to eat my chocolate bar. Or my apples. I ran out of time."
Me: "So you were saving your chocolate bar for last? That's good! I'm so proud of you."
Alex: "I was going to eat my chocolate bar, then the apples. But I didn't get to!"
Me: "So you were going to eat your chocolate, and then your apples, like I've asked you to? That's really good. Guess what happens if you eat dessert first? I won't pack it for you any more."
Alex: "But I didn't get to eat it."
Me: "That's all right. You can eat it tomorrow."
Alex: "No, I can't! They threw it away."

That's right. After following all the rules, eating the rest of his lunch before dessert (and there was a lot, because I added in applesauce and graham crackers for a backup meal after he complained of a tummyache this morning), Alex had his meal scraps cleaned up by a zealous cafeteria worker. When his time was over, he carried his lunchbox, full of empty baggies, chocolate bar, and apples, over to the garbage can, so he could throw away the trash. He says "some guy" (the janitor?) scooped everything out of the lunchbox to throw away, including his apples and his chocolate bar, leaving only his water bottle.

How can I teach healthy eating with consequences like that?

All about Alex

According to the About Me poster Alex just filled out:

Favorite color: red and pink

Favorite food: pear

Favorite animal: penguin

Wild Waves is my favorite place

When I grow up, I want to be: watear slide maker

My favorite thing to do is: go to the beach

If I had one wish, I would wish for: My very own ultralight

A concert? Not quite

Rebecca: "Mommy, do you want me to sing 'I am a Child of God?'"

Me: "Yes, that would be wonderful."

Rebecca: "I don't want to."

Rebecca asks

"Mommy, can I see in your nose?"

Where did all the footwear go?

Where did Becca's shoes all gone?

They're all missing

Leather boots and hiking shoes

All gone away

Vanished all into thin air

I can't find them anywhere

What will she ever wear?

And does she even care?

Happy Helpers

My 6-year-old is vacuuming one stair at a time, while my 3-year-old stands ready to swap vacuum attachments. "Change!" she yells, as he finishes the step and trades to the long tube to vacuum the back edge.

Finally, the day I've long dreamed would come--my children are actually doing MY work! (They've done three stairs so far.) Wonder when I get to retire from housecleaning?

The (temporary) end!

The manuscript is in. The task is done--until somebody tells me I forgot something.

Dandelion Green Questions

--After two boilings and frying in butter, how can dandelion greens still be so bitter?

--Why does anybody eat these?

--How could my daughter ask for three servings of the stuff when I could barely choke it down? Her philosophy: "I didn't like it, but I didn't hate it either." (To be honest, I did choke down quite a bit of bitterness before I allowed my sensible self to call a halt.)