R prays

"Thank you that I could make my own alliteration: Peter Piper picked a piece of pepper while playing with puppies."

if only

"I want new PJ's," my 6 year old sighs. "But, sadly, I don't have any."

Free fruit

Out in the dark with a headlamp clipping grapes for freezing. Can anyone say FRUIT GENE?

Fruit gene

Out in the dark with a headlamp clipping grapes for freezing. Can anyone say FRUIT GENE?

Steps for ironing letters

Steps for ironing letters onto a soccer shirt the morning of the game: 1) Lay the shirt on the ironing board. Arrange letters on top. 2) Read instructions: "Wash shirt." 3) Gather up a load of laundry to wash with the shirt. 4) Wash laundry for 70 minutes. 5) Sort wet laundry to find shirt to put in dryer. 6) Realize shirt is still on ironing board, unwashed. 7) Iron on letters anyway.

Bedtime??

Just found my 9 year old in bed with the door cracked open so he could draw compass circles on the card from the orthodontist.

Housework

While I'm cleaning the kitchen, my little girl is carpeting the living room with baby wipes. She works her work, I mine.

cause and effect

Q: What's the natural consequence of bathing your baby and dressing her in a brand-new outfit?

A: The biggest diaper blowout in months.

cleaning

My plans to totally clean up the kitchen and living room today got reduced to decluttering one square foot of space on the fireplace. It had about four things on it. I am not feeling very productive!

Need to know

This is the burning question my son must ask me as he rushes out the door late for school: "Mom, how often does the Potomac river flood?"